The Rise And Fall Of The House Of Jimius

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The Cast

Quintus Victor (299 – 236) 

270: Middle son of Lucius Julius. 
267 – 266: Defeats Gauls several times in North Italy, culminating in capture of Mediolanum 
264: Stops large Gallic army from crossing the Po river 
259: Captures Patavium and settles as governor 
244: Repels Dacian invaders from Patavium 
243: Leads counter-attack against Dacia 
241: Captures Segestica 
238: Crushes large Dacian army outside Aquincum 
237: Captures Aquincum, Dacian capital. 
Elected leader of the Julians 
236: Dies peacefully outside Lovosice, which is successfully taken from Dacia later in the year. 

Publius Ofonius (309 – 259) 
267: Marries into family. Initial success in tandem with Quintus Victor. 
264: Forces crushed by Gauls while sieging Patavium 
259: Dies in an assault on Patavium, which fails. 

Marcellus Victor (270 – 209) 

250: Distinguishes himself defending the Rhone from Gallic crossers. Is adopted into the family. 
250 – 234: Defeats seven separate invasion forces, causing the deaths of six warlords 
247: Forced to retreat from gates of Narbo Martius 
237: Elected Faction Heir 
236: Elected Faction Leader 
233: Oversees Marian Reforms 
231: Wins the Battle of Narbo Martius, effectively crushing Gallic power north of the Pyrenees. 
Captures Narbo Martius 
228: Captures Lemonum 
225: Captures Condate Redondem 
224: Survives and overturns Gallic ambush against overwhelming odds 
222: Captures Gallic Capital of Alesia, completing conquest of the Northern Gauls. 
220: Part of three-pronged Blitz on British provinces 
219: Captures port of Samarobreva 
217: Defeats large British army in the field 
214: Captures Bordesholm 
212: Helps destroy large British army 
210: Captures Londinium 
209: Captures Eburacum, killing the King of Britain and completing the conquest of Brittania 
Later in the year, dies at gates of rebel province of Deva, which falls in the next few months. 

Quintus Julius II (249 – …) 

233: Comes of Age 
229: Sent north with large expeditionary force 
224: Captures Vicus Marcomanii from Dacia 
220: Part of three-pronged Blitz on British provinces 
Captures Vicus Gothi from Brits 
217: Defeats large British army in the field 
214: Captures Batavadorum 
212: Helps destroy large British army 
211: Crushes large British army 
204: Finally reaches Italian front, a bit too late 

Galerius the Cruel (254 – …) 

238: Comes of Age 
238 – 209: Devotes self to the many-faceted world of Bureaucracy, holding every senate post and turning Arretium into an incredibly profitable capital. 
209: Elected leader of the Julians 
208: Declares war on the Senate, and the other houses of Rome. 
Defeats large Brutii army 
207: Captures Rome after defeating the last army of the Senate 
205: Captures the Scipian Capital of Capua 
204: Captures the remaining Brutian city of Croton, killing the last Brutian king, and completing the conquest of the Italian mainland. 

Tertius the Great (229 – …) 

213: Comes of Age in Athens 
208: Finds self at front line of conflict, and is charges with defending the Greek Provinces of the Julii 
207: Beats back three Brutian armies in separate assaults 
206: Defeats another attacking Brutian army before engaging and destroying another 
Captures Corinth, and with it the great Temple of Zeus. 
Captures Sparta 
205: Defeats another Brutian army in Crete and captures Kydonia from Brutii 
204: Sets sail for Sicily 

The Numbers

The assault on Croton was my 200th battle victory (If I’d lost it would have been my 60th defeat). The House of Julii had 94 members, a profit of 20,000 denarii a turn, 34,000 soldiers and 285,000 citizens. I have 22 sides of barely-legible A4 to remind me of the good times.

The Map

Is so large, we can’t even paste in a minimised version.


Written by jiiiiim

December 19, 2008 at 7:00 am

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Chapter XVI – 204BC

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204BC – Roma Victor 
Quintus II finally reaches the front, having abandoned his infantry for extra speed, but all he gets to do is hunt down a Brutian family member that’s just hanging around. Galerius goes to the boot of Italy and sieges Croton, while Lentulus hits Tarentum on the heel. Meanwhile, a scipian fleet carrying 2000 troops is sunk in the Tyrhennian sea. Takes about fifteen separate attacks to sink a single ship, but still. I did it. 

Tarentum sally with the aid of the last Brutian stack of troops. The pre-battle odds give me 1:2, I think this is meant to be one I lose. Screw that, while I may have no chance in a straight defence, they won’t be expecting an attack. As the troops leave the gates, my siege towers rumble up to their walls, and all the melee infantry I can spare rush in. Under heavy fire from the gate and just generally being heavily on fire from boiling oil, they force their way into the city. Racing to the square, they manage to engage the relieving cavalry before they can get to the square. The enemy pour through the streets as they realise the countdown timer for city possession has begun, but thanks to the dogs holding them for precious seconds, they can’t reach it in time. It’s almost a bloodless victory, but it is one of the best maneuvers I’ve ever pulled off. Daring can work occasionally. I’ve summarised it in this sexy, sexy tapestry.

Scythia attack me again and I find the BIGGEST HILL IN THE WORLD EVER to guard.

The archers are truly fantastic, killing twice their number each and when my Thracian mercenaries scream and charge down the hill, the remaining troops scatter. 

Which leaves Galerius to assault Croton, the last Brutian city, the last obstruction to total victory. Legionaries storm the walls as they always have, archers lure as they always have, the enemy king is swamped as ever he was.

Galerius is victorious. The Julii are victorious. Marcellus Victor is by definition Victorious 


Coming tomorrow: Fact, Figures and Obituaries.

Written by jiiiiim

December 18, 2008 at 7:00 am

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Chapter XV – 205BC

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205 BC – The End is Nigh 
Scythia are beginning to threaten my Eastern provinces, and after a few years of furious backpedalling, they finally manage to pin my troops down. It’s a heroic defence (seriously, got the little crossed swords and everything) with the infantry folding and routing and the bulk of the cavalry shot to pieces. 

The legions wait out the arrows from the horse archers that are left in testudo formation, and eventually they give up and go away. Score! 

Tertius, who has apparently changed his surname to “The Great” beaches up on Crete with a couple of thousand angry men and crushes the resistance there in a pitched battle, which incidentally leaves the city, Kydonia, defended by 19 men. With a couple of onagers to use, the city is rushed by Tertius and another province joins. This is the 47th member of my strange, land-based family, so the end is in very definite sight. 

Galerius and Lentulus assault Capua with 12 siege towers. Well, it should be 12, but due to the fact my reinforcements haven’t turned up on time in about 30-odd years, it’s 4.

The walls are stupidly big and stupidly well-defended. Ulp. Four legionary cohorts roll onto the walls and succeed, through about 70% losses, in taking them and the gateway.

Archers are the next up through the towers, firing down from the walls at the assorted menagerie, then it’s time for my own animals as wardogs burst through the city gate and into the general.

Rather embarassingly for them, the enemy general gets taken out by a wardog handler. Galerius and the few surviving legions wrap up the win with a clean square lure-and-take. Lentulus turns up about a minute before the end, talk about glory-hogging.

Written by jiiiiim

December 17, 2008 at 7:00 am

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Chapter XIV – 206BC

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The fifth Brutii attack comes in the spring, two full armies against a boosted Tertius, with a few troops in reserve. They have seven onagers between them and in an effort to deal with that, a few units of Roman cavalry are sacrificed to go around the huge army approaching and sneakily kick the siege equipment. Turns out they can fight quite well, those onager crew, but they are at least held up while they slaughter the horsies.

Making sure to concentrate javelin fire on the enemy generals, I succeed in stagnating the attack, and the impetus to repulse them is provided by the emergence of my reserves. As they’re chased off the map, Tertius takes care to disable the onagers. Well, most of them. Titus the Brave escapes and retreats to the area around Corinth. 

Tertius presses on to the outskirts of Corinth for the sixth battle for Greece, attacking the three half-armies clustered around there. 

While not exactly on ideal terrain (and I’m gutted to find archers and onagers can’t hide in those semi-enclosed fields, the oft-neglected tactic of charging the general around like a crazy lobster works, and the Brutians get chased away. 

But he keeps going, right up to Corinth itself, immediately assaulting. His onagers succeed in destroying the gatehouse, a wall and two towers, clearing a gap to go through (while a single unit of mercenary hoplites bravely soaks up all the enemy onager firepower).

Once I’m double-super-safety-sure the onager has no stones left to throw, in march massed ranks of archers, which succeed in clearing the walls and surrounding area, a cavalry charge wiping up what remains. Archers and cavalry run to the town square and take care of the retreaters. Titus the Brave becomes Titus the Dead. 

He’s still not done. Onward to Sparta! It has frankly excessively tough walls, meaning two onagers succeed only in destroying the gatehouse and gate.

 A testuding Praetorian cohort march in very gingerly, and then everyone else runs in like they haven’t a care in the world, all the way to the square. It takes a while but they clear it of legionary cohorts and all of Greece is mine. 

Slaughtering the populace of Rome has given me a much-needed cash boost and I retrain all the troops that can get there. Two stacks besiege the Scipian capital of Capua. One is attacked, retreats, and is attacked again, but manages to destroy the rag-tag mob sent after it, and resieges. 

Finally, Osca, now with nice big stone walls, is assaulted by Spain. Dammit those Bull Warriors are powerful, crushing a number of legions on the walls. Fortunately, the ram is taken out so it’s all wall fighting and there’s enough troops to carry the fight through. 

Oh, and Pontus is now dead, meaning I don’t have to get anyone a Christmas card this year (or indeed for another 206 years, but y’know, if I did, I wouldn’t have to.)

Written by jiiiiim

December 16, 2008 at 7:00 am

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Chapter XIII – 207BC

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207 BC – Weathering the Storm 
Having finally managed to retrain his army, Quintus II moves south from Alesia to help out at the front line. Declaring war on Rome has basically alienated any supporters I had left, and the empire is hit with the double whammy of reduced trade income and widespread rioting. Campus Scythii just turfs out the garrison and swaps to Scythian control, who, grateful for this free city as they are, declare war. Spain besiege Osca, and the huge Brutian army attacks the bottleneck defenders, who are headed by Tertius Porcius, a recent addition to the family. 

The first attack is numerous but weak, their reinforcements are delayed and they can’t get the power they need to bear. Their reinforcements finally arrive to see most of their allies in dissarray, and wisely decide to withdraw to attack again. 

The second attack is equally numerous, but stronger. In this battle, it is the onagers that distinguish themselves, taking out a good 10% of the enemy army before they can land a blow. They have the staying power, though, with urban and praetorian cohorts as standard, and inflict large losses before eventually being routed. 

The third attack is again of the same numbers, and stronger still. The onagers and missile troops are innaccurate and I don’t have enough men any more to fight them head-on, so I focus on using archer units to distract and lure away their flank units from the main action. This allows central superiority to tell before taking on their flanks. Tertius distinguishes himself, taking on cohort after cohort with large success. 

The fourth attack is with three armies headed by Titus the Brave, including six onagers, so I decide to retreat back towards Athens. The blockers have done their job, and done it well. 

Bolstered by this success, Galerius retreats from his forward position back to the ford, and starts the second siege of Rome, and again the Senate attack in force, with eagles. Possibly on pogo sticks. Galerius is blessed with archers and cavalry, so manages to inflict some damage before the enemy cross the river, and after that it’s a desperate attempt to stop them from breaking through.

As troops begin to waver, more and more are piled in, including the archers, and finally two more Senators are dead, and the eagle is mine.

Senate reinforcements are heading for me, so I cross the river and wait for them to follow. After a similar defence, the last head of the Senate, Quintus Aelius, suffers severe sword-piercing, and the very last senate troops is charged down by some cute l’il doggies.


Rome being entirely undefended as it is, Galerius walks straight in. There is cheering, and also the crucifixion of about 20,000 citizens, to make a point.

SPQR – Squished, Pushed, Quashed and (C)Rushed.

Written by jiiiiim

December 15, 2008 at 7:00 am

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Chapter XII – 208BC

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208 BC – War with the Republic 
With a title like that, you really need Star Wars yellow scrolly text to explain the scenario. Ah well, you’ll have to imagineer it. 

So yeah, the first wave of attack was led by Lucius Helvius, against a group of senate troops based on a ford, a large stack of utterly upgraded old-skool, pre-marian troops.

Forunately as they were without archers, he was able to tempt them to cross the river. 

Senate reinforcements raced from the other side of the map to try and pincer him, but the legions more or less held against both onslaughts.

Lucius engaged the leader of the Senate, and both men fall, leaving my, uh, backup general to see the day through. The victorious troops siege Rome. 

Then it’s trying to ensure the other Romans can’t hurt me. Boats launch in thousands of tiny groups across the Med to impede and Scipii attempts to reinforce, two stacks block off the Greek bottleneck to prevent the twelve thousand Brutii troops in the region going berserk. Spare family members from across the empire are brought towards Italy, and the five cities I have in North Italy begin churning out legions. 

Faction leader Galerius engages a Brutii army south of Rome which includes a thousand incendiary pigs. Not sure quite what emergency they’re preparing for there. A cavalry ambush, while unsuccessful, distracts them enough for cavalry from the main force to take out their onagers, and then when some of their legions make the fatal mistake of pursuing cavalry, the rest is a case of divide and conquer. 

The, uh, backup general marshalling the siege of Rome, Marcus the Mean, dies for some reason, and the senate strike like a tightly-coiled snake/slinky hybrid, carrying a couple of legionary eagles. A snake/slinky/eagle hybrid then. I just don’t have the manpower to hold them at the ford, and they muscle through. As a consolation, I succeed in taking down a minor family member before getting utterly routed, but he’s like the Publius of SPQR.

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December 11, 2008 at 7:00 am

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Chapter XI – 213-209BC

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213 BC – Dacia Done and Dusted 
Troops march off ships into Spain, and are promptly sent packing by the Gauls that have apparently conquered the north of the peninsula. Their superior movement and charge-hitting is telling. The troops get back on the boats and hide. Rather more successfully, a raiding party from Campus Scythii succeeds in destroying the remnants of Dacia, holed up in Vicus Venedae. It’s got to be said, targetting a flaming onager at an open gate isn’t half good at causing havoc. The archers excel themselves, managing to mow down three separate family retinues with barely any losses. On this, the 58th year of my reign, there are 30,000 troops and 170,000 citizens that swear alleigance to the Julian House. Some major Romanisation work takes place this round, heathen temples pulled down and replaced with good, pagan ones. 

212 BC – Tag-Team Awesomeo 

Marcellus and Quintus are ready to swim the channel, but there’s the small matter of a few thousand Brits to deal with. Fightage must occur! And Quintus is late for the battle, the bastard. Fortunately the enemy generals manage to get themselves swamped and shot before they cause too much damage.

As the Brits prepare for their big charge, and the sky is thick with javelins and, um, shrunken heads, Quintus suddenly appears behind them with a ton o’ cavalry. Double charge = slaughter. Unfortunately, Versuccius, the faction heir, escapes. I rename him Verysuckyus to pass the time. Help me. Marcellus crosses the channel on boats I had to send from Genoa about ten years previously. Talk about preparation! 
Meanwhile, the Gauls are somewhat confident after my Iberian crushing (that’s not a euphemism) and engage on Roman soil en masse for the first time in a decade or more. And are destroyed. You’d think they’d learn. 

211 to 210 BC – TWO YEARS OF MY LIFE. GONE. 
A loud dinging sound reminds me I’m out of cash. Undeterred, troops blast their way through and besiege Osca in Spain and Londinium in Britain. Osca falls with nary a hitch as the only troops inside are a single arrow-attracting general. Twaanngggggg. The vast number of chariots and chosen swordsmen in Londinium convince Marcellus to wait a bit, and he finally attacks in 210. After administering emergency piercing surgery to the gate defenders, his retinue blast through a unit of chosen that had hacked down hundreds of legionaries, before charging down the King of Britain himself. These heroics will not stop me from sniggering at “Our sword arms will ache from overuse”.

On the garlic-smelling side of the channel, Quintus attacks the last stack of British troops, and this time a good old-fashioned cavalry buckyball finishes them off. 

209 BC – Parthia Pwned and Britain Brushed Aside, also Marcellus Mortified 

I am cheerily informed that Parthia has bit the dust. Dun Dun Dunnnnn. Marcellus, still in furious expansion mode, moves for Eburacum and gets it, creating a powerful irony for the name of the faction leader he defeated.

This is the last king of Brittania, and his faction crumbles with him. His great work done, Marcellus dies peacefully in his sleep, aged 61, born in the year this game began. The new leader, Galerius the Cold-Hearted, isn’t really so much of a people person, in fact he seems to have every possible negative “relation with the people” trait possible. And he’s held every senate post at some point. Great, a bureaucrat, that’ll strike terror into my foes. 
The remainder of Marcellus’ forces siege and capture Deva in the West of England, and Tara in Ireland, to complete the conquest of the north. The only way now is south, and Quintus II heads to Alesia for running repairs. 

In Spain, the Gauls move from their fort (I know, I was surprised to see an AI build one too) and assault Osca with FIVE rams,which is frankly overkill. My forces defend four of the breaches, allowing archers to whittle down the fifth as they attack. It just holds together, like some kind of melodramatic glue, and enough troops are able to get free in time to swamp the warlord when he charges.

I wonder what 208BC will bring…

Written by jiiiiim

December 9, 2008 at 7:00 am

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