The Rise And Fall Of The House Of Jimius

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Chapter IV – 251-246BC

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251 BC – BBFC upgrade my campaign rating to PG13
Well, I’m now at war with Macedon, yes, yes, but I don’t want the Gauls to feel out so I bribe Lugdunum to join me with my fast-expanding cash reserves. The cost comes to 9000 or so Denarii, a snip at the price. Meanwhile, a large army without general goes to siege Narbo Martius. Numerius Julius comes of age in Appolonia, and joins the growing Balkan army I’m maneuvering about there. The House of Julii celebrates its 20th anniversary, and it has come to my attention that our people are somewhat less populous than they could be. Years and years of defending against the Gauls have left my cities depleted of men, so I designate the next ten years as the “Everybody have sex” decade, in the hope I can start building better barracks when the cities upgrade. I’m yet to get hold of Principes, dammit.

On top of that, I’m running out of things to buy and it doesn’t do to keep your reserves high – things in general start to get decadent. Generals in general start to get decadent. I also cancel the delivery of fifteen crates of EZ-peel grapes. They can make do with the other forty, lazy swines. And no more than two slaves per grape.

250 BC – ROME SMASH! RAAH!
Numerius lays siege to the Macedonian city of Larissa – Brutii troops are currently blocking off the souther half of their provinces, so I decide to go for everything North of Albania. The garrison sallies with significant reinforcements in the next season. Fully 4000 men face my 2000. It is time to see if Numerius is the man his resumé made him out to be.

Fortunately, the two enemy waves are spaced out, but it is imperative I deal with the first before the second has a chance to join in. I deploy in a more or less traditional line setup, with two rows of hastati sandwiching my mercenary skirmishers, and some light cavalry hiding in the treeses. These cavalry are vital in dealing with the first wave.

After defeating the enemy cavalry away from the infantry portions of our armies through attrition, they wheel back, and while the hastati thin and pin (I am so trademarking that phrase) the numerous phalanxes, I am able to charge them from numerous directions and force a decent rout. The second wave is a little trickier to deal with, my forces, especially cavalry, depleted as they are, but it follows a more or less similar pattern. Vitally, I am able to counter-charge the mini-horde of light lancers led by the King of Macedon himself before they cause spectacular damage to my general’s head. After their mobility is taken from them, mopping up the remaining phalanxes isn’t too hard. They have learnt nothing since Alexander.

I march into Larissa, and as there doesn’t appear to be a ticker-tape parade forthcoming, put 11,000 Macedonians to death. That’ll teach them to stand up for themselves. Grrr…

Meanwhile, back at the ranch (and by ‘ranch’ I mean ‘Gaul’), my forces retreat to the river from another mahoosive horde. The horde press on and decide to attack a fortified river position. The sillies.

I use my trademark box formation (really quite effective for a side with no long-range missile abilities) and charge the Gauls down, scattering some of them into the river for a very morbid version of Pooh Sticks. After the battle, the previously unheralded Marcellus Messius is promoted to royal status. I love when this happens. Finally, the senate inform me Pergamum is no longer a relevant blockading target and suggest I go pick on Athens instead.

249 BC – Same as it Ever Was (Gaul in the deep again)
The newly-bribed city of Lugdunum is besieged and assaulted in successive turns by an enormous Gaul force. Not really much I can do other than spray and pray. Desperate defending is no use as I am completely outnumbered and Lugdunum falls with nary a whimper.

Spray...

Spray...

...pray.

...pray.

The Gauls assault my river guards again, showing a complete lack of pattern spotting and/or logic. But that’s why I love ’em.

A flock of low-flying javelin birds take care of them.

Bwahaha. As fun as it is soaking up large Gaul armies like this, I decide to push back to Narbo Martius again.

248 BC – Conform to Stereotype
I spot that the administrator and all-round bastard Amulius has been nicknamed “the mean”. To justify this, I equip him with the first pack of wardogs to roll off the production lines and get them to chase down some peasants that had sprung up. I forgot how fun this was!

My team en route to Narbo Martius is attacked a-freakin’-gain, this time by the warlord Cassivellaunus. The Gauls are swift becoming a thorn in my side – My hastati simply aren’t strong enough to take the charge unscathed, and I have to rely on nimble cavalry movements and general wearing down of warbands to win the day. I succeed, bruised, and siege Narbo. Please God let it fall soon.

247 to 246 BC – Days of the Groundhog
The Gauls sally again, this time with two big armies. I make the tactical decision to defeat one and then withdraw, after another Gallic charge decimates me again. Ho-hum. Back to the river. I’m really looking forward to repeatedly killing the population of Narbo, you know. Elsewhere, Numerius lays siege to the Macedonian capital, Thessalonica. Bugger all happens in 246, other than the sound of siege weaponry being feverishly constructed. Larissa starts to churn out some principes and archers.

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Written by jiiiiim

November 13, 2008 at 7:00 am

Posted in Uncategorized

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