The Rise And Fall Of The House Of Jimius

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Chapter VIII – 228-224BC

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228 BC – Maneuverage 
I bundle three of my youngest, ugliest generals together with a big stack o’ troops and send them north to prepare for a Brittania invasion. I’m now completely and utterly fed up of Byzantium rioting so I decide to let them kill each other and leave the city en masse. After a few more turns of rioting, they realise that instead of killing their oppressors they are in fact killing thousands of their own for no reason and flippity-flip to Macedonian Dominion. They may only have peasants, but those are 2-gold-heron silver-armoured peasants. I have no idea how they train these guys so quickly.

The rest of my turn is spent very gradually outmaneuvering a large Greek Force standing outside Thermon. I move forward in an arc formation, and having eventually got into position, reselect “fire at will”. The general is taken out with a flaming onager shot, which always makes me smile. 

This battle sees the first successful use of the testudo formation, with Roman infantry finally finding a way to avoid the pre-charge missile battles. The battle finishes with a mere 3 minutes left. 

227 BC – Ready?…..Retreat! 
That enormous army that had left Byzantium to rot in its own juices padlocks the gate to make sure those elite peasants don’t get out. I finally lose all hope in the enemy AI when the Gauls attack Marcellus. On a bridge. Sigh. He then moves to the gates of Condate Redondem. There’s also a succession of battles where the Greeks and Macedonians run away rather than fight. In awesome news, troops heading to Alesai, the Gallic capital, manage to fight their way out of a rebel ambush. 

226 BC – The First Battle for Athens 
They reach Alesia! They attack the army there! They die horribly! Bugger! 

This turn’s all about the assault on Athens. I don’t think anything went right. I had exactly enough onager ammo to knock my chosen wall up to 92% damage and the siege tower megaglitched meaning no-one could go up the walls, so it had to be the sapping points. Athens is a very well-guarded city, y’know. A unit of archers dig up the walls, and those units that can form into testudo and brave the withering towerfire, and take the walls.

They run all the way to the main gate, and after a swift cavalry charge the Greeks guarding the front of the city are beaten back to the town square. 

It’s a slow march to the square, which is guarded by two general units (some Greeks got roped in to help the Macedonians) and a phalanx. These fiendish horsies are drawn out with distant arrowfire and into a wall of spear auxilia while I plough 600 flipping Roman Cavalry into all sides. And you know what? They STILL succeed in routing them. 

After enormous bloodletting, the Roman troops regroup and try the same thing again. This time, thank God, it works, and both warlords die a grisly death. Time is running out.

Everyone rushes the square and its single unit of hoplites, but to no avail. Macedon holds the city, and another 2000 Romans die for nothing…

225 BC – Booooo! 
Boring! The following die: 685 Gauls, 401 Dacians, 386 Greeks, 255 Romans, 52 dogs. Condate Redondem leaps into the bosom of Rome. Snigger. 

224 BC – CAN NOTHING KILL THIS MAN? Featuring Athens 
Marcellus is just marching to Alesia, minding his own business, when 1500 burly Gauls leap out of the woods. Bacon tree! I mean ambush! Basically, they’re f**ked. The mercenary warbands fight a running battle with the enemy cavalry as they attempt to collapse back to a defensive line, while Marcellus and a single unit of barbarian cavalry distract the bulk of the enemy’s infantry. The enemy cavalry is dealt with to huge losses, and then the main force impacts. Marcellus spots his opposite number sneaking round to flank and smashes into him, withdrawing when the enemy infantry begin to wonder if their warlord should be bleeding like that. Crushing a unit of chosen along the way, Marcellus attacks the guy again, and has enough time to administer the killing blow. It’s too late for my warbands, who have held up the enemy infantry valiantly but just don’t have the numbers to keep fighting. Marcellus darts around like some kind of butterfly, stings like a bloody hornet and somehow or other routs the ENTIRE ENEMY ARMY. including CHOSEN. Everyone else in his army is dead, mind ¬_¬. He upgrades to Victor and proceeds to Alesia, the Gallic capital, besieging it with a single warband he befriends along the way. Athens is likewise sieged, and Vicus Marcomanii’s garrison falls to a volley of javelins so another city signs up to Rome. 

And then come the second and third battles of Athens, as Macedon attempt to rescue their Greek holdings. 2000 descend from the mountains and I take up an excellent defensive position, defended on the left by impassible rocks and the right by the impassible red line of TRUTH. 2 Macedonian family members smash into the cohorts but they just about hold firm and repel the secondary and tertiary phalanx assaults.

I send dogs after the fleeing troops for a laugh. 


And still they come. 2500 line up led by the excellently named Captain Atalos. It’s all about maneuvering this time, the troops are few and falling. Archers lead phalanxes on a merry dance across the hilltops while the remaining 35 horsemen do their thing and isolate and destroy. This is amazingly close, but in the end I wing it. Athens is finally mine! over 7000 Macedonians spontaneously die in surprise. I also gain a new general, Augustus Licinus.

I have big plans for him…

And just when you thought the giant maps were forgotten about!


Written by jiiiiim

November 27, 2008 at 7:00 am

Posted in Uncategorized

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